honey bunches of taint.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
