I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
