God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
