yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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