It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
