You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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