she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize