I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
