Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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