Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
