i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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