It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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