I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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