We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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