some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
