so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
