I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
