just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
