so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
