I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
