two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
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I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
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My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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