Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I still have a little drunk in my system
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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