She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
