The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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