i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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