Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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