worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
