She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
