Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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