idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
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