We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
