He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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