the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize