maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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