her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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