lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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