people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
me + whiskey = a bad person
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize