Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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