I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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