The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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