It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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