I bet he comes in French.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
