Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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