I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
