I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
