I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
