shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
