There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
We're too hungover to prance.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
