I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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