So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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