you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
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we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
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She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo