Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
