Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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