She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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