McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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