she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
