how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
