Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
