she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
