Will you blow on my dice?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Randomize
