Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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