What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
