i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
